Summer Essentials by Toilet Observer

Summer is here, and a number of magazines, blogs and instagrams are telling us what fashion pieces are going to be absolutely indispensable this season. And because we are not afraid of competition and have a lot to contribute too, we put together our very own ultimate list of summer essentials. All you need is a bit of adventurous spirit, and you’ll be able to enjoy this year’s hot months like never before.

1. Squatty Potty

Let’s start with some solid observations – it is a well-known fact that the way we rid ourselves of our stool on modern toilets is exactly the wrong way to perform this operation. A much more natural position is squatting. Which is why Squatty Potty came into existence – a practical little stool which you simply put next to your toilet, and immediately poo more healthily.

So clearly, Squatty Potty is an ideal summer festival accessory. Yes, you might look a little weird if you drag a big plastic footrest everywhere you go, but let’s think about it together: many people look for a partner for a shorter or even a longer relationship at summer festivals, right? And so as soon as someone notices that you carry a Squatty Potty with you, they will immediately understand your priorities are set straight, you know how the world works, and you think about the health of your excretory system, i.e. about important things. Instantly they will see you are a great catch and it’s worth to invest time in you.

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2. Metallicaca T-shirt

After having successfully captured your potential partner’s attention through the power of your mental maturity, there is no harm in helping matters by a cleverly chosen attractive outfit. And there is no better piece for these purposes than a classic, timelessly stylish T-shirt which says Metallicaca. With this choice, you will be telling the world you are a true rock star, but at the same time you are unafraid to admit that even such idols as yourself need to regularly relieve themselves, which serves as just another proof of your mind’s enlightenment.

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3. Kama Pootra

OK, now that’s settled. Thanks to the universal attractiveness of Squatty Potty and Metallicaca T-shirt, hand is in glove already for sure, and you and your new partner are getting down to various wild adventures. For these moments, we believe Kama Pootra, a highly educational publication, will come in handy. It will open unknown possibilities when it comes to creative defecation in a couple, allow you to reach a new understanding of yourself and toilets, and teach you about diverse toilet positions, for example “Wedding night”, “Reverse Heimlich” or “Cheerleader”.

NB: If, by some unfortunate accident, you did not manage to lure a new partner at a festival – even despite deploying Squatty Potty and Metallicaca –, don’t despair. Kama Pootra offers a lot of tips on how to thoroughly enjoy your bathroom experience even as a soloist. 

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4. Glittery pills for rainbow poo

It is not uncommon in new relationships that people are ashamed to admit they occassionally need to do a number two. Especially women like to create the illusion that even if they do need to poo, they poo rainbows. Of course, we know (not only) thanks to Kama Pootra that you and your partner from the festival do not have such inhibitions, but maybe you might want to put on a bit of a show every now and then and light up the toilet bowl by all the colours of the world. You can easily achieve that with special glitter pills, thanks to which the products of your digestion will be more colourful and more glittery than all the Pride parades of the Earth.

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Bonus: Vacation idea

They say the best way to get to know someone is to travel with them. That is why we have an idea for a romantic – but also educational – destination that you can visit with your new love: a town named Suwon in South Korea, where you will find a theme park dedicated to… yes, toilets.

The main exhibition building in the park is shaped like a toilet bowl, and inside you will find various expositions detailing both the history and present of toilets; visitors can also look forward to various amusing competitions, such as painting golden poos etc. You will not find roller-coasters and similar attractions in this park, but you can freely “interact” with the exhibits and statues on display. Enjoy!

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We wish you a beautiful summer full of romance, healthy bowels and a lot of beautiful memories.

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