Disappointment of the century

Dearest friends, what you see is true – as a title of this article, I am serving you a genuine clickbait, for that is clearly all the rage these days:

Screen Shot 12-30-16 at 12.58 PM

A colleague from the frontlines of clickbaiting Source: twitter.com/YouTuberProbs_

But I do (to an extent) have a real reason for it!

So what’s the deal: Prague’s House of the Black Madonna is great. A beautiful cubist building built in 1912, at an amazing spot, with a unique interior. On its first floor resides a café which goes by a pompous name Grand Café Orient and boasts the title of “the only cubist café in the world”. You can order a “cubist cake”, which, appropriately, is square, you can admire the elegant interior, sit on the balcony when the weather is nice and generally pass time highly agreeably in here. Style, beauty and refinement is everywhere you look… until you decide to visit the bathrooms.

IMG_20160925_170257IMG_20160925_170300The doors look fairly promising though – on their dark wood, there are tasteful signs that go well with the rest of the café. One does therefore expect to find a proper cubist decor behind them…




…but in reality, you get the most ordinary, uninteresting, kind of depressing bathroom. There’s not even a trace of any cubism, art, sophistication or elegance. Everything is ultra ordinary, or even borderline ugly.

This bathroom would fit well maybe in “Mega Sportbar Fortuna”, and let’s not sugarcoat it – that’s a fairly awful place. No cubisms, no art. Take a leak and go back to the pool table! But here?!


IMG_20160925_170645OK, I know that even this kind of ordinary bathroom serves its purpose well. Besides, no one was promising me any design miracles. But that’s what’s making the disappointment even worse – you dream it up all by yourself… and this is how it ends up.

So I am calling upon those who run Grand Café Orient (who are highly probably not going to read this article, which makes the whole thing even more desperate): Do something about your bathrooms to make them fit with the rest of the facilities! You probably won’t earn more because of it, your reputation won’t get any boost, no international crisis will get resolved; basically nothing much will happen, but it will still be better. Because when you already are “the world’s only cubist café”, it would not be half bad if you had “the world’s only cubist bathroom” too, and weren’t causing your visitors “disappointments of the century”… or just small, ordinary, momentary disappointments. But not as ordinary as your current bathroom, because that is ultra ordinary.

End of the PSA message. Thanks for understanding.

Score chart

Cleanliness 7/10
Aroma 7/10
Equipment 5/10
Privacy 7/10
Could you comfortably vomit there? Not particularly – there is just one toilet, so someone would definitely come bother you during the act.
Atmosphere Full of disappointment
Cultural / entartainment opportunities You can read about how you shouldn’t throw sanitary pads into the toilet.
Overall impression 4/10

Grand Café Orient
House of the Black Madonna, Ovocný trh 19
110 00 Praha 1

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