Blue Velvet

That feeling when you are about to set out on a train trip and you are so excited and anxious, literally over-filled with emotions and you need to let loose. So you look for some place to chill but let’s face it – train station toilets are not the place where you would take your significant other for the first date. Sometimes you would even prefer any hole dug in ground. Ok, you would probably go to the toilet rather than indulged yourself in public humiliation.

One cosy and grey Sunday afternoon I set off to Cesky Brod to meet the cat of my life. In time, I arrived to Masarykovo nadrazi in Prague and as I was so excited and anxious, I couldn’t hold it any longer. Masarykovo nadrazi is a beautiful historical building and its facilities are historical as well. Yet not so beautiful.

When I spotted the entrance to the ladies, my abundant experiences of a toilet observer were telling me that there will be another universe behind that door. Dark blue. Definitely not for ladies.

IMG_2799   Stolička pri umývadlách priam láka k posedeniu.

I took a deep breath and entered. I felt like in a David Lynch movie. Even Nick Cave could easily use this as a concert venue.  That decadent the place was. Anyway, I was greeted by a trollish toilet lady which was hiding in her den that was recklessly opened and luring visitors. Please note the sophisticated system of a toilet fee collecting in the vending window. From facilities of this category you can’t expect that the toilet paper will be in each cubicle so you need to roll it in advance. No need to say how tricky it is to estimate how much you will need (including for overlaying of the toilet seat). Not even mentioning that you need to hold it all the time so you have just one hand left for manipulation with your clothing and so on. First world problems. Fortunately, there was a hanger. If there wasn’t any I don’t know what would happen. I would probably had to hold everything in my teeth or give it to the troll lady.

IMG_2797   IMG_2795

So I rolled it and entered the cubicle. As you can see, the designer was inspired by tetris when choosing tiles. Due to that blue light I couldn’t see whether there was dirt or not which was probably better. Despite cold atmosphere the place was surprisingly warm and my sensitive nose didn’t even notice any kind of stench. It was not that bad after all although I can’t say you can comfortably loose yourself there. Off you wanna go fast and furiously.

IMG_2793   IMG_2791

Soap and warm water were there too and even paper towels! So the hygienic standard was complied. Whole time I was thinking about what a dear foreign visitor would say about this little dark blue universe. Maybe it would be the wildest memory of Prague right after the pork knuckle and whores.

Score chart

Cleanliness Hard to say so maybe 6/10
Aroma 10/10
Equipment 9/10
Privacy 7/10
Could you comfortably vomit there? Definitely not. The qestion is though, how it would look like in that decadent blue light. Worth exploring.
Atmosphere 10/10 David Lynch feat. Nick Cave
Cultural / entartainment opportunities You can have a chat about life with the toilet lady.
Overall impression 3/10 Spooky but unforgettable.

Masarykovo nádraží

Havlíčkova 1014/2, 110 00 Praha

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